June 2010
2 posts
I am anticipated and titillated. Grossed out and excited. I read what I think and what I think is what I write. I like alone. I like quiet. I enjoy being out. I love not knowing what’s going to happen next. I thought, at one time, I knew what I wanted; I was wrong. My equillibrium is off, I am unsteady. I am waiting. I am being patient for the first time in my entire life. This is good for me....
May 2010
2 posts
Please refrain from telling me how I am “allowed” to feel. If I get upset or angry, I am entitled to that. It’s MY emotion.
I am not mad. However, it would be nice to know if you are, in fact, fucking someone else. Mostly for my own protection.
Alllllll I can fucking smell in here is BO. It’s giving me a headache and a damn anxiety attack. I don’t like feeling this way. It’s difficult to just tuck it all away. I find myself just wanting complete honesty.
When protection isn’t used…. it makes me sick to my stomach. It’s a blatant FUCK YOU in my direction. I suppose it also is when they continue to do...
January 2010
2 posts
There used to be a time when I had the answers and excuses for every single problem or good thing in my life. I could explain away just about anything. Sometimes I think I came upon that skill at a very young age. From having to keep on my toes or have them chopped off. Every day I thought it might get easier if I kept sharpening my tongue. It never did, but I didn’t realize it fully until a...
the bluebird (by Charles Bukowski)
antpants:
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I’m too tough for him. I say “stay in there. I’m not going to let anybody see you”
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I poor whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he’s in there
there’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out...
December 2009
3 posts
Come on, 2010. Please be good to me. I don’t think I can handle another year of extreme ups and downs. Also, treat everyone else just as nice, ahhh thank you.
CLICK HERE TO HEAR MY NEW SONG!!!! →
antpants:
I’ve been talking about it for a long time, and I know a bunch of people have been coming to see me at my solo shows for the last couple of years. I’ve been so busy with great Bayside stuff that it’s taken a while to get this finished. I finally got arounf to recording some demos of my solo songs. This one is called “The Ballad of Bill the Saint”. I’ll be playing at all my solo shows...
October 2009
4 posts
I don’t think I’ve ever been more hurt in my entire life.
Really frustrated that I have been at the salon for 3.5 hours and the last step to finish my hair hasn’t even been STARTED yet. I have been sitting here an hour waiting for it. I’ll fucking dry my hair at home I don’t even care. I am hungry and have shit I was supposed to do this afternoon that I no longer will be able to do because you’re taking your sweet ass time.
I am...
Odio esto is the motto of my life right now. I feel like I can’t handle this. I want what I want and I can’t fucking have it. i haven’t experienced this level of pain in my entire life. Excruciating to say the very least.
And there isn’t a damn thing I can do. I am doing everything in my power.. still nothing. Which I think is the worst part.
I hate/loath/vomit...
September 2009
6 posts
I’m super bummed out today. I’ve pretty much been with the best dude ever every single day for the last month. Feels like we just started dating all over again. It’s really surreal to me to have been dating someone who isn’t a complete asshole for seven months. I love it. A lot.
But I have stuff I really need to take care of and friends I really need to see.
I wish I...
Sometimes I find that I am not honest with myself. I would be lying if I told any single person, stranger, acquaintance or actual friend, that my friends don’t mean the absolute world to me. I am a liar.
I have seen/had serious hanging hard time a total of two times in the last month. This is unacceptable to me. Yes, it’s true, I was on vacation for nearly two weeks. I came home and...
After careful consideration, I have decided that it is high time that I rant. Mainly because my thoughts on internet drama are…. opinionated. Everyone is entitled to say what they want, that’s why we live in a country that grants us those rights. But the internet has all but changed the way that people abuse this right. I get it, you want to bitch in the most non-confrontational way...
June 2009
1 post
I don’t need my ass kicked, I do that enough on my own. Iprobably don’t need a constant reminder of failure. I have a mirror.
April 2009
0 posts
"Stuff Scene Kids Like" →
This is pretty awesome
antpants:
This is a really funny website. If you like my sense of humor, then you’ll like this site.
March 2009
4 posts
Ey yo bitch!
I’m doing stand-up next Tuesday for the first time. I’m crapping all over myself. I don’t feel like I have enough material to fill my spot. No bueno. I’m just hoping people are drunk enough that they think my vulgur, mostly offensive mouth is funny. We shall see.
Irish car bombs...
are not a good idea when you’re planning on drinking eighty-five million of them. I thought my liver hated me before, it’s staging a strike. But hey, at least this year I managed to NOT lose my phone, I avoided getting a concussion and there weren’t any puddles to fall into, so I wasn’t covered in mud. Get sexy.